Mastering Screen Time: Creating a Life Your Family Will Cherish

Scrolling through social media makes it clear: we often interact more with digital platforms than with each other. It’s a concern for everyone—especially our kids. I’ve started considering how to opt-out as a family, and the idea is becoming increasingly appealing.

While technology simplifies tasks like grocery ordering, I can’t ignore the nagging feeling that we need change. My worries about my children frequently stem from their technology use: Will they feel excluded? Will they desire more material things? Will body image issues arise? What inappropriate content might they encounter? It all leads back to their devices.

In a society obsessed with finding balance, I crave a clearer answer. Erin Loechner, a writer and former influencer, observes, “When we manage screens and set strict limits, we become tech managers instead of nurturing parents.”

Erin’s perspective is refreshing. Just the idea of removing screens entirely feels daunting, but her work offers an enlightening approach. In her latest book, The Opt-Out Family, she shares valuable research and insights on giving children experiences technology can't replicate. I had the pleasure of discussing her journey and how we can foster a richer family life beyond the screen.

What does “opting out” mean for families today?

Opting out starts with a key question: If technology is the future, is that the future we want? For families, resources to help you opt out include:

O.P.T. O.U.T.

Offer alternatives to technology.
Protect kids’ innocence and encourage free play.
Teach them the value of being unique.

Offset consumption with creativity.
Unite diverse social groups.
Trust your children and build that bond.

What prompted your shift to a slower, more intentional lifestyle?

A memorable moment from my influencer days serves as a reminder. While preparing for a bedroom makeover shoot, a family friend’s baby unexpectedly got sick on the freshly styled bed. My first thought was about the deadline, not the mess or the child. It hit me then: I wanted to prioritize people over possessions. My work in social media conflicted with that value.

Ultimately, I chose to embrace meaningful connections over material concerns.

It became clear I could either prioritize possessions or relationships, but not both.

What tips do you have for caregivers feeling overwhelmed by lifestyle changes?

Opting out can be simpler than expected. It’s moderation that often proves challenging. When we focus on managing screen time, we risk becoming tech overseers rather than supportive figures. By making one proactive choice now (like avoiding smartphones), we can prevent countless reactive decisions later (like worrying about app safety or exposure to inappropriate content). This shift in perspective makes clear the less overwhelming path.

Does opting out create more friction in daily life?

Absolutely. Tasks like grocery shopping or scheduling can feel more complicated without smartphones, but it’s just a new type of friction. Each benefit a smartphone provides comes with its own cost. For instance, while it’s easy to send a supportive message, it’s equally simple to receive negativity.

Social media also makes it easier for kids to find distractions, leading them down a path of potential overindulgence.

Smartphones facilitate easy transactions but also invite distractions.

Especially for kids, social media can lead to a loss of self in endless scrolling.

What’s your stance on “kid-safe” phones?

I’m skeptical. While marketed as safe, these devices suggest kids can't be without a smartphone. The research doesn’t support this idea.

We need to envision a future where children choose not to have smartphones. With 71% of parents believing smartphones do more harm than good, why not guide children away from something they wouldn’t choose themselves?

*Note on safety:

Experts agree that personal devices can hinder a child's situational awareness. Ken Trump, president of National School Safety and Security Services, notes that phones can pose risks during emergencies, distracting children from crucial safety instructions. Even adults can struggle to respond effectively when distracted by their devices.

Ultimately, we should focus less on the perceived safety of smartphones and more on the potential dangers they pose.

What initial steps can families take to start opting out?

Begin with your own habits and try these three simple steps. This small experiment can dramatically change how you approach smartphone use as a parent. Lead by example!

Next, cultivate a family culture that finds joy beyond screens. We developed a Playbook with helpful guidelines and boundaries to consider.

We can create cherished memories for our families without relying on metrics or stats.

Influencers know how to curate content that resonates with their audience. For example, rather than snapping a picture of a book in a store, we capture it in a cozy home setting. Why? Because it’s about the moment, not just the product.

We can do the same with our families—elevating meals with ambiance, music, or special touches creates lasting memories. Ultimately, we’re all after those sacred, delightful moments.

How can we introduce more engaging activities in daily life?

One effective method is “strewing,” a classic educational technique where children discover things on their own. Lay out intriguing items for them to find, sparking their curiosity. A library book or an old hobby item can encourage exploration.

This method mirrors the discovery experience of social media but in a more enriching way.

What challenges arise in maintaining this lifestyle long-term?

The biggest hurdle is finding others to join you. Humans thrive on connection, and embracing a unique lifestyle can feel isolating. Forming a free Co-Opt-Out™ group can help you find support from other families.

How can families stay engaged as children grow and face external pressures?

• Plan regular Opt-out trips where everyone leaves devices behind, whether it’s a local spot or an adventurous destination.
• Watch The Social Dilemma to understand social media’s broader implications.
• Explore device-free summer camps with your kids.
• Listen to Cal Newport’s compelling arguments to quit social media.
• Keep your Co-Opt-Out™ meetings engaging and enjoyable.

I’m grateful to share life with those who truly know me.

What’s the most rewarding part of living intentionally as a family?

We’re deeply connected, able to discuss values, dreams, and beliefs. Our time together fosters accountability and understanding. It requires effort, but I appreciate living alongside those who know me beyond the surface.

Looking back, would you change anything in your opt-out journey?

I wish I had opted out earlier in my career. Social media isn’t necessary for fulfilling, impactful work!

How crucial is community support for families choosing to live intentionally?

It’s essential! Forming a Co-Opt-Out™ and hosting low-tech gatherings for your children’s friends is a great start. Engage in local tech-free events to connect with like-minded families.

Can we drive a societal shift toward opting out?

Parents have the power to create change. If you're concerned about technology's role in your child’s life, speak up! (Use our scripts if needed.) Just as smoke-free spaces became the norm, we can advocate for healthier digital environments for our children.

Let’s make bold choices for ourselves and our kids, driving a significant movement toward a more intentional life.