An economist and Wharton professor, Corinne Low's story exemplifies the challenges of achieving balance in life, especially for women. Her personal transformation began in an Amtrak restroom, where she faced the pressures of motherhood and career.
During a late train commute from Pennsylvania to New York City, overwhelmed by her responsibilities, Corinne found herself in tears, trying to pump milk for her newborn son. As an economist, she recognized her experience as part of what is known as "the squeeze," a time in life marked by escalating demands on both time and finances, particularly for women building families.
Now a tenured associate professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, Corinne combined her personal journey with her professional insights in her book, Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women’s Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours, which became a bestseller.
Understanding Modern Parenting Challenges
If it feels like parenting is more demanding now than in the past, Corinne would agree. Research indicates that parents now spend twice as much time with their children compared to previous generations, a trend that significantly impacts women.
This increase is largely due to a better understanding of child development. As Corinne points out, parents now fill their schedules with various activities like soccer lessons and tutoring, leaving women to bear a disproportionate share of these responsibilities.
Even when women earn more, statistics show they still handle twice as much cooking and cleaning compared to their male partners. Corinne challenges the outdated notion that these tasks are inherently gendered.
She emphasizes: "I knew that having a baby involved unique biological challenges, but I don’t clean the floor with my uterus."
Shifting Life Directions
In Corinne's case, her then-husband chose to leave his full-time job to pursue entrepreneurship, which kept them in New York while she continued to commute for work.
“After four years, I was the primary earner,” she recalls. “Yet, I was still managing most of the parenting and household chores.”
The couple eventually divorced, and Corinne relocated to Pennsylvania, deciding to date women exclusively—a choice she acknowledges may not be for everyone. Now remarried, she and her wife have an infant daughter.
“When dating, we look for attraction. But it’s hard to feel that spark while dealing with someone’s mess,” she notes. “Not everyone needs to leave their husband for a woman, but everyone should partner with someone who shares the load.”
Creating Fairer Home Dynamics
No matter your partner's gender, Corinne has effective strategies for balancing household responsibilities.
First, stop viewing your partner as someone to assign chores. Think of them as a co-leader in managing your home, not merely a task delegate.
Corinne acknowledges these discussions can be tricky. She recommends bringing data into the conversation. Track your time to reveal the often unseen work women do, such as scheduling doctor visits, organizing playdates, and handling grocery shopping.
It’s not about achieving a strict 50/50 split; it’s about finding an arrangement that feels fair. Let go of the need for perfection. When your partner takes on a chore, agree on what “done” means.
For instance, packing candy for kids’ lunches isn’t enough. But if your partner provides a well-rounded meal, that’s a win. Then, here’s the tough part: step back. "If he’s not cutting shapes out of sandwiches, let it go," she advises.
Embracing Home Life with Caution
Corinne is cautious about the rising Tradwife trend, where influencers encourage women to focus solely on home and childcare.
“Wanting to invest in your home and children is perfectly valid. However, it comes with risks,” she explains. Many women from her mother’s generation ended up divorced and struggling due to lack of job experience.
Beyond the breakdown of a marriage, she highlights the “three Ds”: divorce, death, and disability, plus job losses. The truth is, relying solely on one income can be precarious, and partners may not always be available.
Her advice? Prioritize your personal growth. Build skills that translate into career opportunities. Corinne encourages women to view their careers as a means to convert time into financial stability. If you choose to step back to raise kids, that’s fine, but establish a solid career foundation first.
Ultimately, her vision isn’t about achieving flawlessness, but rather “having it almost.”
She believes this can be accomplished by focusing on what truly brings happiness and fulfillment while letting go of unnecessary pressures.
