This morning, my youngest dashed down the preschool hallway for the first time, stopping frequently to admire artwork. "Mama, look!" he exclaimed, barely looking back. While other parents rounded up their kids, I stood at the entrance, tears streaming down my face despite my efforts to hold back. This was now my second emotional drop-off in two weeks. My oldest had just entered kindergarten a week earlier. Two boys, two milestones, and a mother feeling the bittersweet passage of time.
The Gap Between Milestones
As I write, my home is quieter than it has been in years. For the first time since becoming a parent, I’ve found uninterrupted hours where I’m not occupied with caring for someone small. By societal standards, this should feel like the moment when everything falls into place. But honestly? It doesn’t feel like balance. Instead, I feel an unfamiliar void—an unstructured expanse. I’ve learned that parenting isn’t really about achieving balance; it’s about fully experiencing the seasons we go through.
Why Balance Is Misleading
We’ve been conditioned to see balance as the ultimate goal: managing family, work, friendships, health, marriage, and personal growth seamlessly. But life, especially with kids, doesn’t operate that way. Motherhood is dynamic—constantly shifting. Some days, my family demands all my energy; other days, my role as a writer and health coach calls for more. On unpredictable days, I’ve learned the importance of being flexible. I’ve let go of the pursuit of balance, and honestly? My nervous system feels calmer because of it.
I’ve come to understand that parenting isn’t just about balance. It’s about embracing the various seasons.
Phases of Motherhood
I can distinctly categorize my motherhood journey into chapters. The baby years were focused on survival. Sleepless nights blended into mornings, and my body felt like it belonged to someone else. My career didn’t disappear but took a backseat. The toddler years are (and were) intense—filled with both laughter and big emotions.
It’s been a time defined by quick sprints—writing in nap times, squeezing in early workouts, and preparing a fast dinner post-park. Now, the rhythm of our family life is changing again. For the first time in years, I have the opportunity to rediscover myself beyond motherhood, which feels both thrilling and a little daunting.
Womanhood Through Phases
Womanhood mirrors this ebb and flow. There are times when your health demands focus: recovering from childbirth, navigating hormonal shifts, or revitalizing after burnout. Some seasons see friendships thrive, while others experience quiet due to life’s demands. There are phases of career advancement and periods when ambition softens. The key is not maintaining balance in every area simultaneously but recognizing your current phase and allowing yourself to embrace it fully.
The Myth of “Having It All”
Society often conveys a different narrative. A successful mother supposedly juggles a flourishing career, radiant skin, toned abs, an active social life, and time for self-care. If one area falters, we feel we’re failing. But what if it’s simply not the right season for everything? During my baby years, I wasn’t pursuing a business venture, and that wasn’t a sign of defeat; it was alignment. I was honoring my current phase.
Now, as my boys enter school, I sense another shift. There’s room for my work to grow, and I can engage with it in ways I couldn’t before. Rejecting the myth of balance also means letting go of the accompanying guilt. It’s a reminder that different priorities will emerge at different times. And I see that not as failure, but as wisdom.
When we accept rhythm over balance, we learn to adapt to life’s demands. We stop questioning, how do I do it all at once? and start asking, what does this season need from me?
Identifying Your Season
As September arrives, I find it grounding to reflect and ask myself: What season am I in right now? This simple inquiry can transform everything, quieting the comparison game, guilt, and the pressure to do more than is feasible. At this moment, I’m experiencing a transition. With my boys in school, I’m reclaiming parts of myself, and I feel a strong pull toward work and creativity like never before. It may not be perfectly balanced, but it feels authentic. I know another season will arrive soon with its own challenges.
Embracing Freedom in Rhythm
This morning’s preschool drop-off reminded me how swiftly seasons can change. One moment, you’re soothing a baby, and the next, you’re in an empty house, reflecting on how quickly the years have passed. While balance may be an illusion, rhythm is tangible. Life continually evolves. Priorities will shift. Together, these seasons create a life far richer than any promise of balance.
So perhaps the real question isn’t how do we balance everything? Instead, we should ask: How do we honor the season we’re in? Because both motherhood and womanhood are about embracing the seasons. And each fleeting phase is more than enough.
